Snap-on Tools Parody Site Slams Franchise Practices of Mobile Tool Giant
Snap-on Tool parody site Crap-on.Com is satirical, irreverent, clever and, at times, immature. There’s a serious message behind the mockery: that the publicly traded tool giant may be boosting corporate profits through exploitation and churning of its franchisee dealers.
(UnhappyFranchisee.Com) According to the Snap-on Inc. (NYSE: SNA) parody website Crap-on.Com, Snap-on, Inc. 
CEO Nicholas “Pinchy” Pinchuk was a little high from “sniff testing” cleaning solvents in the R&D lab when he took the podium at a Boy Scouts of America awards ceremony in his honor.
Inhalant-induced lightheadedness, combined with his elation at seeing his boyhood Scoutmaster (from whom he learned many life lessons in and around the pup tents of his youth), led the celebrated CEO to publicly “spill the beans” about the reason for 100-year-old company’s profitability and amazing stock performance.
Snap-on CEO Nicholas “Pinchy” Pinchuk Spills the Beans, Crap-on.Com is Born
In the post Snap-on CEO Nicholas “Pinchy” Pinchuck Spills the Beans, Admits to Exploiting Franchisees, the mercilessly lampooned Nicky “Pinchy” Pinchuk recounts having blurted out the closely held secret that Snap-on’s success is due to an internal franchisee exploitation initiative called the Crap-on Dealers (C.O.D.) Program.
After admitting to exploiting them, Pinchuk immediately points out that he has enormous affection for Snap-on franchisee dealers.
He cites, with pride, how Snap-on screwed over a 23-year franchisee King Regian (an actual franchisee) and how Regian’s fellow franchisees defended the corporation, not their colleague.
“We ‘Crap-on Dealered’ [King Regian’s] ass and the franchisees were on Facebook still defending us! I find that level of loyalty, devotion, self-delusion and imbecility touching… I really do.”
Operating from their PR department headquarters at a Kenosha, WI dive bar (The Brat Stop – an actual dive bar), the Snap-on PR crisis management team, headed by Yon Yonson (who comes from Wisconsin), created the Crap-on.com website to give Pinchy’s disclosure a positive spin.
Snap-on: An American Company Proudly Exploiting Americans in America
With the beans spilled, Nicky Pinchy decides to praise his Snap-on Inc. for refusing to outsource its exploitation overseas like so many other companies.
In the discussion post Praise for the Crap-on Dealers Program: Share Your Thoughts!, Pinchuk states:
While other manufacturers are making profits by exploiting workers in Latin America and Asia, we refuse to ship our exploitation overseas.
We are an American company, squeezing profits from the hard-working franchise owners who once owned homes right here on Main Street, USA.
Screw Drivers: Snap-on’s Winning Strategy
The post titled Screw Drivers Key to Snap-on (NYSE: SNA) Success is written like one of those full-page corporate philosophy ads (like BP or Exxon on their commitment to the environment ads, or McDonald’s on its war on childhood obesity).
It boasts that Snap-on Inc. has been delivering shareholder value and dividends every quarter since 1939 by using the real “tools” in the Snap-on system: the Snap-on Tools franchised dealers who actually pay to be exploited and turn on fellow franchisees who dare to complain.
The “Screw Drivers” page mentions a current dealer dispute referenced frequently in the site, that of a former Waco, Texas dealer named King Regian. According to the site, King Regian was a top Snap-on franchisee of 23 years whose successful route was wanted as a company route.
Snap-on allegedly refused Regian’s sale of his franchise 2 years before his agreement expired, allegedly refused to reimburse him $160,000 for warranty returns over the duration of his franchise agreement, and created vindictive rules targeting him.
This is not the first time UnhappyFranchisee.Com has heard complaints from successful, loyal Snap-on franchisees who claim that the company blocks outgoing franchisees from cashing in on their years of hard work.
Snap-on Lawsuits, Ousted Franchisees & Meme Gallery
In addition to the story of “Pinchy” Nicholas Pinchuk and the Crap-on Dealers Program, the parody site also contains factual sections from the current Snap-on Franchise Disclosure Document:
Snap-on Tools Franchise Lawsuits and Settlements lists the franchise litigation and class action lawsuits that Snap-on is required to disclose, including the settlement amounts paid to franchisees.
Snap-on Tool Franchisee Memorial lists the names and contact information for the nearly Snap-on franchisees who left the system in 2015.
There’s even a section of Snap-on Internet memes (those pictures with sarcastic captions posted to social media) lampooning nearly everything Snap-on:
World’s Largest Collection of Humorous Snap-on Pictures – In the World!
ALSO READ:
SNAP-ON TOOLS Franchise Complaints
SNAP-ON Franchise Parody Site: Crap-on.Com
SNAP-ON TOOLS Why SBA Won’t Guarantee Snap-On Franchise Loans
Forbes’ Praise of the Snap-On Franchise Draws Fire, Disbelief
SNAP-ON TOOLS Franchise Dealer Warns: Buyer Beware!
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TAGS: Nicholas Pinchuk, Snap-on Nicholas Pinchuk, Snap-on, Snap-on franchise, Snap-on parody, Snap-on franchise opportunity, Snap-on franchise complaints, Snap-on dealer, Crap-on tools, Crap-on tools parody,franchise parody, tool franchise, , franchise opportunity, franchise complaints, unhappy franchisee
I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH WHAT THE SITE IS TRYING TO SAY…
I’M CURRENTLY WAITING TO GO INTO MEDIATION WITH SNAP ON THIS MORNING.. IN THE NEXT FEW HOURS I WILL SITTING IN FRONT OF THEM WITH MY BACK AGAINST THE WALL AND A NUMBER WILL BE THROWN AT ME, NOT BASED ON WHAT IS OWED TO ME BUT SIMPLY TO BUY MY SILENCE SO THEY ARE ALLOWED TO CONTINUE DOING WHAT THEY DO.
THREE YEARS AGO I WAS APPROACHED WITH THIS IDEA TO INVEST IN A SNAP ON BUISINESS. WHEN FIRST MEETING WITH THE SOUTHEAST GROUP THEY WERE VERY WELCOMING AND SEEMED LIKE A VERY SUPPORTIVE TEAM TO BE ON. I QUICKLY LEARNED THAT IT WAS ALL FOR SHOW AND ONCE PAPERS WERE SIGNED I FELT THAT I ALREADY HAD ONE FOOT OUT THE DOOR. I WAS THE UNFORTUNATE LOCAL IN MY AREA TO DRAW THE “SHORT ROUTE” WHICH ULTIMATELY LEAD TO YEARS OF STRESS, THREATS FROM SNAP ON CORPORATE, DEMANDS FOR MORE INVESTMENT AND RIDICULE FOR IT BEING MY FAULT THAT MY BUSINESS WAS FAILING.
THIS WAS A VERY HARD THING FOR ME TO DEAL WITH, ACTUALLY LEAD TO ME GOING TO COUNSELING AND GETTING MEDICAL HELP OVER THE PAST TWO YEARS.. NOW CLINICALLY DEPRESSED.. WHICH I HAVE NEVER SHOWN SYMPTOMS OF THIS DISORDER PRIOR TOO.. I WILL HAVE TO REBUILD MY LIFE AND SNAP ON COULD CARELESS ABOUT ME OR MY FAMILY. THEY HAVE RUINED MY LIFE AND WATCHED ME DO IT WITH NO HELP OR GUIDANCE FROM THE COMPANY, EXCEPT BUY MORE TOOLS…
I NOW KNOW AFTER RETAINING MY LAWYER , GERALD MARKS, THAT I’M NOT ALONE AND THAT THIS IS A NORMAL FOR SNAP ON TO DO THIS TO FRANCHISEES. THEY ALMOST WELCOME IT. THEY ARE PREPARED FOR THIS AND PREPARED FOR WHAT I’M ABOUT TO GO THROUGH, BUDGETING FOR IT JUST LIKE YOU WOULD FOR YOUR FRANCHISEE AS AN EXPECTED OVERHEAD COST.
IT IS DISGUSTING TO LOOK BACK ON THIS NOW AND NOT HAVE TO POWER TO HELP STOP IT FROM HAPPENING AGAIN. SO HOPEFULLY THIS POST WILL GET OUT TO SOMEONE THAT IS ENTERTAINING GETTING INTO THE BUSINESS AND STOP BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE!